“People aren’t always what you want them to be. Sometimes they disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. You can’t just meet someone and expect them to be everything you’re looking for and then be angry when they’re not every hope and aspiration you projected onto them. It’s foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be. And sometimes, when you give them a chance, they turn out to be better than you imagined. Different, but better.”
I used to say I don’t believe in second chance. In every relationship I was into, if it’s over then it’s the end. I thought that attitude applies in everything but I was wrong. Once I decide to turned my back, no matter how painful the circumstances and how stupid may I look to everyone I still stand firm in my decisions. I admit I linger too much on the negativity before I could appreciate the positive side. Perhaps, it’s my way of putting an imaginary wall against pain that I might encounter and my defense against betrayal but as I looked back, I realized the more preparation I put in-order in my head when the situation get worst I still felt the unmeasured pain.
The answer is that while I am busy contemplating on the bad effect, the other side of my mind is visualizing the need to be done for the goodness of certain situation. So, unconsciously I am too attached on the matter. For not believing in a second chance, I give everything in the first try. At the end, I’m like a dead-man walking. Nowhere to find a safe haven and nothing can calm my spirit from tearing apart. I’m just hanging in the cliff, waiting for my own dilemma to kill me.
That pattern speaks louder, my behavior become extent and maybe I am really a hardheaded person. And if you hurt me? I did not forgive easily. I held on to things, for a very, very long time. I remember I had an argument with my childhood friend for a petty things but during the that it was big deal to us. We parted our ways, we moved on but we don’t have a closure to whatever issues we had. After 10 long years, we crossed our path in unexpected manner. I attended the wedding of my college friend who happened to be her friend too. It was awkward, and the memories flashed back but when she hug me the first words she uttered, “its been a long time, I am sorry.” All the bad experienced and bad demeanor right on the spot was forgiven.
But things change when I surrendered my life to Him.
Second chances and forgiveness starts in my own life, it is good to forgive, but even better to be forgiven. I have made mistakes, like most people, but my friends and family are so loving, they always forgive me. Second chances don’t erase the past but it will give a person to rekindle his/her passion to life and somehow will give hope to start a new horizon.
I think second chances make you a stronger person. When someone gives me a second chance then you become extra careful not to hurt them. I have a lot more respect for the individual who truly asked for forgiveness and chances to embrace the new start. I would rather have a friend that screws up all the time and tries their hardest to gain my trust back constantly then one that is never doing anything wrong. It’s a lot easier for me to understand where they are coming from because I know I make a lot of bad decisions and so I get it.
Talking through everything is always the biggest and most difficult step. Sometimes it is hard to tell another person what you are feeling. You just have to take that risk of getting hurt. You should sort out each other’s feelings so you both know how the other person feels. When everything is all over with, then you will know if you made the right choice or not. God will always take the best of every situation and lead you on the right path.
My all time favorite quotes about second chances;
“Without failing at one thing, there won’t be an opportunity to try again, learn and grow. Life isn’t static but dynamic. Learn to embrace whatever situation you may face and strive to overcome. Believe in yourself, knowing your best is yet to come.” -Kemi Sogunle-
“To take that second chance, we need to notice where we are and be open to the possibility of growing.” -Holly Elissa Bruno-
“Sometimes you don’t get a second chance. You need to take a chance when you have the opportunity. Always.”
“Nobody is a lost cause. They just think they are, so they don’t even bother to try sometimes.”
– Anna Todd-
“Often in relationships we have to move
the next mile, leaving behind the experiences
of the mile just past, and starting afresh.
It takes a big heart, and deep love to take
the risk of exposing yourself to being hurt
again, forgiving the people who tore you
down and giving the relationship another
Pray for strength and take along the learnings
from the past. This time, shift focus from
appeasing to creating healthier bonds with
clearer boundaries and lots of space.”
“You remember the dialogue you had with yourself, you can quote the emotion word for word, as if you’re still there, as if it matters that you can map in detail the geographies of regret.
It starts with a hope and ends with a turn of the stomach: a cringe at the excuses you make for your heart, a momentary forever you remember on alternate days over coffee and novels that hit too close to home.
You cry because you know the point at which you could have turned back but didn’t, could have taken time by the throat and resisted, could have ignored the phone, answered that message, said no, said yes, said nothing, smiled – whatever it is that you didn’t do. But by the time that moment ends, it is over and you are in too deep, wondering why there exists no rewind button for the soul, no second chance for the petty player, no backup plan for those who risk everything on nothing, all at once.”
-Tania De Rozario-
**photo was my own shot