What I am getting out of life? The question often asked by myself. While others are busy reaching out, I am too busy contemplating on my own. Putting MYSELF on good position and always one step ahead of everything. (at least on my own world). What did i missed? I’ve walked to fast, faster enough that i forgot the real meaning of my existence.
Something peculiar happened after new year’s eve, that particular moment still vivid in my mind untill now. Perhaps, i entertained too much doubts or maybe my own dillema got to my nerve then it exploded in dreamland. I was alone, i saw a garden full of blossoming flowers. It was a perfect day. I sat in the bench, enjoying the scenery. Out of nowhere the sky became wild, heavy rain, thunderstorm, lightning then it stopped. While i was shivering from cold, i saw my own shadow. I talked to my reflection as another person. I was so helpless, I was weak and tired. I asked for help but my reflection just stared at me. No emotion but the eyes were fierced and fearless. I begged like a child. I grabbed her, but she ran away from me. I followed her direction, i stumbled but determine to find someone who could help me. She entered in a cave, suddenly she vanished without even talking to me. Inside the cave, i saw a light. I heard voices but i couldn’t understand. To my surprised and shocked i was in a coffin.
Then,someone touched me. It was Yiyi’s daughter hands, she woke me up for i keep screaming. It was a nightmare, really!
It’s been 2 days but i can’t get it through out my head. Now, i knew that the real fun lies in seeing how much I can put into life for others. Along the way i navigated the rough seas of my sudden “death”. I keep on whining instead of being appreciative on what’s in my hands. I dream of changing my course without initiating a first step. I lack action that will lead me to achieving my goal. My nightmare awaken me in a spiritual level. Maybe God takes His own time to prepare me for the service i have to share with others. I lift everything to Him. Hopefully, it’s not too late for me to start a new beginning w/c the center is Him.