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8 Steps On How To Move-On

“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” ~ Paulo Coelho

This is personal moving on tips.

A break up may feel like the end of the world, but years from now, a struggle of today will feel like a lesson from the past. The more we can look at our lives as fluid and not fixed, the more we can see our experiences in perspective. The end of a relationship is not the end of our story.

Oftentimes, breaking up is the beginning of a new journey. If you know how to handle it well, it will lead to successful and ideal relationship.

1. Accept the reality

Accepting the fact is the first step in moving on. Accept that you are not meant to be. When you keep revisiting the past in your head, pull yourself into the moment. It is not easy but the truth will set you free. Focus on the good things in your current situation, you are free and have a chance to start a new beginning.

2. Love yourself

Loving oneself is the greatest love of all.  Part of the break up is you have regret, you feel ashamed and guilty, you rehash, you obsess—it’s all an exercise in suffering. You feel betray and start questioning your worth. Feeling worthy requires you to see yourself with fresh eyes of self-awareness and love. Acceptance and love must come from within because we can’t give what we don’t have.

3. Share with your close friend.

According to the statistics I read, brain scientists suggest nearly 20 percent of us suffer from “complicated grief,” a persistent sense of longing for someone we lost with romanticized memories of the relationship. Scientists also suggest this is a biological occurrence—that the longing can have an addictive quality to it, actually rooted in our brain chemistry. Real friends could help you forget your part relationship and rekindle your worth that you thought was lost.  Your friends in life should motivate, inspire and respect you. Your circle should be well rounded and supportive. Keep it tight. Quality over quantity.

4. Avoid contact with him/her.

When you just have break up with someone, your emotions are all over the place — you will likely miss them desperately and overlook all the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place just to have them there with you again. Do not be a spy on his/her Facebook. It’s self-inflicted torture. Give yourself time to feel your way through everything. It is hard at first, but  it gets better. You can untag the pictures. You can hit that unfollow button. You don’t have to communicate with them ever again, if you don’t want to. Because honestly, it’ll probably hurt you more in the long run if you keep in contact. It will probably cause you even more pain.

5. Seek closure with him/her.

When you are prepared to talk to him/her, get ready to seek closure. Let go. Do not hang on to the reminders of what was good can keep you attached to the relationship. What’s not working in a relationship may seem obvious to you when you want to get out of it. Closure is necessary but do not force yourself or go crazy about it. Time heals all wounds.

6. Forgive him/her and forgive yourself

You won’t spend the rest of your life alone. In one way or another, you will meet all kinds of people and create all kinds of possibilities for relationships—if you forgive yourself, let go, and open yourself up, that is. Forgiving yourself is essential. There is a tendency in all of us to hold ourselves more accountable than we do others. Perhaps you have been one who can justify forgiving others, even for a heinous offense, yet you find no justification for forgiving yourself for an equal or lesser offense.

7. Do the things you love. Find yourself

When we are into relationship, there were times you compromise what you really want and enjoy. Learn new skills, set new goal. Study on the skills you never mastered.

8. Meet new people.

Meeting other people will open for new horizon. Move forward to create your life, and if the relationship can be created again with that person you desire to be with, it will be created from a greater, deeper place and not the same old place that made you break up in the first place. In my point of view, a breakup, especially stemming from an unhealthy relationship or perhaps just one that wasn’t meant to be, always leads to something greater.

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