Forgiveness is essential, even in the absence of an apology. Jesus provided the supreme example when He forgave those heartless people who nailed Him to a cross, sneered at Him and watched Him die. They never apologized to Jesus. Yet forgiveness was genuine and complete on Jesus’ part when He prayed the words: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NIV).
“Forgiveness is the most powerful thing that you can do for your physiology and your spirituality. Yet, it remains one of the least attractive things to us, largely because our egos rule so unequivocally. To forgive is somehow associated with saying that it is all right, that we accept the evil deed. But this is not forgiveness. Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviors that caused the wounds.”
1. Put yourself aside
Truthfully, if you cannot get over your own pride, you will never be able to fully forgive anyone for anything. You have to be able to push aside whatever pride, anger, resentment, bitterness, or hate is left inside you to accept the person that has hurt you. You will not have access to the compassion inside you if you cannot get rid of these walls that have been strongly built around your heart.
2. Look in the mirror
The best way to understand how a person that hurt you feels is by looking in the mirror and evaluating your own faults and offenses. We all have them and we’ve all hurt someone in one way or another. Perhaps the way to open up yourself to forgiving someone else is by looking inward first. Think about a time when you needed the forgiveness of someone else to be freed from the scar that you left.
3. Love more
The quickest way to a more peaceful world is to love other people more. I’m not talking about romantic love, obviously. I’m talking about serving others, listening instead of talking, and forgiving other’s faults. I get it, we’re not perfect, but the old saying, “practice makes perfect”, really does apply.
Love yourself enough to let go of all the toxicity from your life and free yourself from all the anger, bitterness and resentments. If you’re mad, be mad. Don’t hide and suppress your feelings. Let it all out, but once you’re done with being mad, allow forgiveness to enter your heart. Let go and love!